an Happiness Be Bought ???
Hi friends, most of us knowingly or unknowingly let our wants/ greed/ lavishness take control of our lives and somewhere we connect it with happiness. During this lockdown, we have realized that our needs were limited, only our wants were unlimited. So today, thinking about the relationship between money and happiness, I am sharing my story with all of you in terms of financial perspective. How I had felt about money and happiness related to it.
I was my parent’s first child so received lots of affection and attention from everyone around. My father had a job while my mother was a homemaker. My family was not too rich but it was financially stable enough to take care of me and my sibling. But at that time there were large families, so my parents had the responsibility of their siblings and parents also. I had grown up watching my parents fulfilling all the needs on a priority basis within limited resources.
Right from my childhood, knowingly or unknowingly my parents had taught me a lesson that TO PUT LIMIT ON YOUR NEEDS so that one can save for future. Every time when I needed something, the first thing I had heard was to rethink it whether it is necessary to spend money on that or not.
I would like to share one incidence here. In my childhood during vacation, there was only one place to visit and that was always my grandparent’s house and that too once in two years. I think at that time there was hardly any concept of traveling to some tourist place. So to make us excited about the vacation my father asked us ie me and my brother, to make the list of wearables( clothes, shoes, accessories, etc) which we required. And I had made a big list of all the items like 2 pairs of shoes, 3 frocks, colorful pins, hairband ,and the list went on and on. When I had given this list to my father it got scrutinized to only bare minimal. It was right from that time we had been told that we should put a limit on our needs.
But actually at that time somewhere deep in my heart I was not happy as I was not able to have all those things which were so- called the source of my happiness and it was only because of the limited amount of money.
During my growing years, I was always told by my parents that we are the service class people, we can only provide you a good education. So you have to study hard, get good scores then only you will be able to get a job with a good salary.
Slowly and gradually I had developed a mindset that Money is very important and started seeing everything around me through the lens of money. When I had completed my Post Graduation and got a job in a well- reputed institution, it was indeed a very proud moment for my family and of course for me as I had proved myself to be worthy enough to earn money. That feeling was amazing. Though I was happy because of the feeling of independence still want to earn more and more money and save it for the future.
A major shift in my thought process occurs when I got married. My husband had an altogether different approach towards money. With him, I had learned that one should give a purpose to money.
Right from the starting we together had discussed and focused on maintaining minimum lifestyle expenses ie no Big EMI, had controlled weekend outing expenses while spending money on learning new skill sets or on a hobby or taking our kids to hometown to make them spending time with their cousins and extended family members.
My previous perspective about money had changed and now I realized that money is not just for earning or investing for the future, but also to spend it on things we love and desire. There has to be a healthy balance between spending and investing both.
We should keep a part of it for ourselves apart from our routine expenses and savings so that we can live the life which we dream about.
Today what I realize that it was the way of life for the people of my parent’s generation were earning money and saving it for the future was the only motive and if spending then it will be on a highest priority basis. The focus was on just increasing wealth in numbers and not to make use of it for their happiness or for pursuing any hobby. But according to them, that was the Right Way to live a life where they had mastered the art of Controlling the Needs and live with the most basic things.
But what I understand now is that Happiness does not come just from accumulating more and more money but how you make use of it. If you think of it logically then you will realize that money has become an inseparable part of our life. We can not buy happiness directly with money but still, we depend on money at some point to be happy.
Traveling, home decor, baking are the things that I want to do more than anything else. But I can’t do that without money. Also, I need to have enough money with me so that I don’t have to worry about my basic needs and desires in life so that I can find time to do things I love.
There is a linear relationship between money and happiness. So how we can attain more happiness, there are some ways which I had listed
3 ways money can buy happiness
1. Buy moments, not stuff :
I can remember when my family able to purchase an air conditioner or a LED. For a while, life was very pleasurable, but over the period of time, we take these things for granted except when they break. Then life is miserable. But spending money on vacation or celebrate with your loved ones and extended family give you a moment of happiness which will always be there with you to cherish it throughout your life. So buy moments as many as you can.
2. Spend with others:
Spending money on things or activities that you do by yourself will make you happy but a recent study says that doing the thing with friends or family even if it is not as exciting, makes you happier because it fosters a sense of togetherness and connection between you and other people. We human beings are social animals, we always want to be connected, so spend on relations.
3. Spend on others:
Spending money on others boosts people’s emotional and physical well being. Giving money for charity or to anyone in need brings the most happiness as an act of giving strengthens social ties. Many times we all must have witnessed this that when we had bought any eatables to small children who were begging roadside. Isn’t that had given altogether different happiness?
So altogether what I had concluded is:
